Sometimes it seems like it comes in waves, like those dark clouds descending on the skyline last night as the first rain in a long time settled into the humid, humid air.
Just the night before, as I was doing dishes I looked up and saw the glorious magenta sky right after the sun had set, the kind of color that you only see when the weather is changing. It's so beautiful, I thought to myself and I grabbed my husband so he could see it too.
And then the feeling that it might be the last thing of beauty you see in a long time because how, would someone please tell me how, can something so amazing exist more than once? How?
When our worlds fall apart, who do we cling to? What gets us through? How do we make it, while trying to take care of the others who depend on us so much?
That is simple.
We are the ones we turn to. We, the sisters, the mothers, the friends, the community. We lift each other up more than we bring each other down and it is this power that I truly feel, in whatever form - be it the community that brings you suppers after surgery or this online community that rallys and supports when one of it's own is suffering - can make all the difference in the world.
I've been lucky to be a part of this community for just about three years and from the very beginning, I can tell you who my first 'blog friends' were. Lisa is one of them. I am begging you now, and I am not one to beg, please go visit Lisa (Midwestern Mommy). She is in the hospital, waiting to find out what kind of cancer she has.
And to think that I saw those dark clouds last night and thought their presence was only to remind me of the beauty the night before. The beauty before that I believe will be there again.
Lisa, you are going to be like that magenta sky - the sky before the dark that will remind me that even though I don't see it everyday, it's beauty and grace exist, even in the face of the dark.